Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Eight Steps Toward a
More Satisfying Life
Want to lift your level of happiness? Here are some practical suggestions from
University of California psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, based on research findings
by her and others. Satisfaction (at least a temporary boost) guaranteed
1. Count your blessings.
One way to do this is with a
“gratitude journal” in which
you write down three to five
things for which you are
currently thankful—from the
mundane (your peonies are in
bloom) to the magnificent (a
child’s first steps). Do this
once a week, say, on Sunday
night. Keep it fresh by varying
your entries as much as
possible.
2. Practice acts of
kindness. These should be
both random (let that harried
mom go ahead of you in the
checkout line) and systematic
(bring Sunday supper to an
elderly neighbor). Being kind to
others, whether friends or
strangers, triggers a cascade
of positive effects—it makes
you feel generous and capable,
gives you a greater sense of
connection with others and
wins you smiles, approval and
reciprocated kindness—all
happiness boosters.
3. Savor life’s joys. Pay close
attention to momentary
pleasures and wonders. Focus
on the sweetness of a ripe
strawberry or the warmth of
the sun when you step out
from the shade. Some
psychologists suggest taking
“mental photographs” of
pleasurable moments to
review in less happy times.
4. Thank a mentor. If there’s
someone whom you owe a
debt of gratitude for guiding
you at one of life’s crossroads,
don’t wait to express your
appreciation—in detail and, if
possible, in person.
5. Learn to forgive. Let go
of anger and resentment by
writing a letter of forgiveness
to a person who has hurt or
wronged you. Inability to
forgive is associated with persistent
rumination or dwelling
on revenge, while forgiving
allows you to move on.
6. Invest time and energy in
friends and family. Where you
live, how much money you
make, your job title and even
your health have surprisingly
small effects on your satisfaction
with life. The biggest
factor appears to be strong
personal relationships.
7. Take care of your body.
Getting plenty of sleep,
exercising, stretching, smiling
and laughing can all enhance
your mood in the short term.
Practiced regularly, they can
help make your daily life more
satisfying.
8. Develop strategies for
coping with stress and hardships.
There is no avoiding
hard times. Religious faith
has been shown to help
people cope, but so do the
secular beliefs enshrined in
axioms like “This too shall
pass” and “That which
doesn’t kill me makes me
stronger.” The trick is that you
have to believe them.
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/images/TimeMagazine/Time-Happiness.pdf
Friday, January 13, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
I highly recommend the books by Martin E.P. Seligman; as an example here is an excerpt of his latest book.
What is Well-Being?
Martin E.P. Seligman, April 2011
This an excerpt from Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being
The Original Theory: Authentic Happiness
Positive psychology, as I intend it, is about what we choose for its own sake. I chose to have a back rub in the Minneapolis airport recently because it made me feel good. I chose the back rub for its own sake, not because it gave my life more meaning or for any other reason. We often choose what makes us feel good, but it is very important to realize that often our choices are not made for the sake of how we will feel. I chose to listen to my six-year-old’s excruciating piano recital last night, not because it made me feel good but because it is my parental duty and part of what gives my life meaning.
The theory in Authentic Happiness is that happiness could be analyzed into three different elements that we choose for their own sakes: positive emotion, engagement, and meaning. And each of these elements is better defined and more measurable than happiness. The first is positive emotion; what we feel: pleasure, rapture, ecstasy, warmth, comfort, and the like. An entire life led successfully around this element, I call the “pleasant life.”
The second element, engagement, is about flow: being one with the music, time stopping, and the loss of self-consciousness during an absorbing activity. I refer to a life lived with these aims as the “engaged life.” Engagement is different, even opposite, from positive emotion; for if you ask people who are in flow what they are thinking and feeling, they usually say, “nothing.” In flow we merge with the object. I believe that the concentrated attention that flow requires uses up all the cognitive and emotional resources that make up thought and feeling.
There are no shortcuts to flow. On the contrary, you need to deploy your highest strengths and talents to meet the world in flow. There are effortless shortcuts to feeling positive emotion, which is another difference between engagement and positive emotion. You can masturbate, go shopping, take drugs, or watch television. Hence, the importance of identifying your highest strengths and learning to use them more often in order to go into flow.
There is yet a third element of happiness, which is meaning. I go into flow playing bridge, but after a long tournament, when I look in the mirror, I worry that I am fidgeting until I die. The pursuit of engagement and the pursuit of pleasure are often solitary, solipsistic endeavors. Human beings, ineluctably, want meaning and purpose in life. The Meaningful Life consists in belonging to and serving something that you believe is bigger than the self, and humanity creates all the positive institutions to allow this: religion, political party, being Green, the Boy Scouts, or the family.
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletter.aspx?id=1533
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
10 Ways to Become More Grateful
By Robert A. Emmons | November 17, 2010 | 4 comments
Robert Emmons
1. Keep a Gratitude Journal.
2. Remember the Bad.
3. Ask Yourself Three Questions. “What have I received from __?”, “What have I given to __?”, and “What troubles and difficulty have I caused?”
4. Learn Prayers of Gratitude.
5. Come to Your Senses.
6. Use Visual Reminders.
7. Make a Vow to Practice Gratitude.
8. Watch your Language.
9. Go Through the Motions.
10. Think Outside the Box.
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/ten_ways_to_become_more_grateful1/
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Our purpose in this New Year is to learn how to be happy. For this purpose I propose the Positive Psychology Theory.
The following is the iformation on the web page:
Positive Psychology is the scientific study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive. The Positive Psychology Center promotes research, training, education, and the dissemination of Positive Psychology. This field is founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.
Positive Psychology has three central concerns: positive emotions, positive individual traits, and positive institutions. Understanding positive emotions entails the study of contentment with the past, happiness in the present, and hope for the future. Understanding positive individual traits consists of the study of the strengths and virtues, such as the capacity for love and work, courage, compassion, resilience, creativity, curiosity, integrity, self-knowledge, moderation, self-control, and wisdom. Understanding positive institutions entails the study of the strengths that foster better communities, such as justice, responsibility, civility, parenting, nurturance, work ethic, leadership, teamwork, purpose, and tolerance.
Some of the goals of Positive Psychology are to build a science that supports:
Families and schools that allow children to flourish
Workplaces that foster satisfaction and high productivity
Communities that encourage civic engagement
Therapists who identify and nurture their patients' strengths
The teaching of Positive Psychology
Dissemination of Positive Psychology interventions in organizations & communities
The link is : http://www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/
Here you can find wonderful information that will help you achieve happiness.
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